Guilt and Grace
How often have you heard someone say, “I know God has forgiven me, but I just can’t forgive myself.” I’d like to suggest two things with regard to that statement. First, it’s a natural human feeling to realize the impact of our own sin, and to keep remembering and remembering and remembering, replaying events in our mind and recalling the impact on those we’ve hurt. Second, refusing to forgive ourself is, whether we realize it or not, also a refusal to accept the forgiveness God has already given us.
Let’s consider these points in order.
It’s hard to forgive. Period. But it does seem easier to forgive someone who has done us wrong than it is to forgive ourself when we sin against someone else (and against God). Why is that? Because although we use the term “forgive and forget”, we can’t really do the latter, can we? We may not hold a grudge against someone else, but we can’t forget what she’s done. We may still associate with a guy, but we still remember the time he lied to us. That does seem to be multiplied when it’s our own sin we’re talking about, doesn’t it? The fact is, a human can forgive, but a human can’t forget.
“Forgetting” sin is a divine attribute. When God tells us “I will … remember [your] sins no more” (Hebrews 8:12), he literally means that. We can be assured that God will not hear our request for forgiveness and reply by saying, “Well, OK. I’ll forgive you this time, but remember the last time you deceived that guy? This is the same thing all over again. When will you learn?” We hear the idea that, “When God forgives us, he wipes the slate clean.” I’m telling you that’s not what happens. Have you ever tried to clean a blackboard? It can’t be done. No, what I suggest is that when God forgives, he throws away the slate!
That brings us to the second point.
God has promised to forgive, so refusing to forgive ourselves is simply not accepting the forgiveness God has already given us. Notice I didn’t say “not being able to” — I said “refusing” to forgive. It’s my own opinion that the reason we do this is because we don’t really “feel” forgiven. We know intellectually that God is faithful to His promises, but we just don’t see how He could really forgive us. We try to picture God in human terms, and this always falls way short of the truth. A finite mind can’t fathom an infinite Being. Just because we don’t feel forgiven doesn’t mean we aren’t.
This takes work and it takes practice, but simply take God at His word. He is faithful, even when we’re not. He will forgive, even when it’s hard for us to. We’ll never be perfect at this, but we can get better at it. Don’t give up!
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Posted on June 9th, 2008 by Bob Mathews
Filed under: Christian life, Grace, Growth, Peace, Salvation, Security
